Softening Suffering in Dark Times

As shared in the reading above, the Latin root of the word suffering itself means “to allow” or “to experience.” I don’t know about you, but those are never the first thoughts we have in moments of loss, change, or grief! We’re more in the camp of “get me out of here, and fast. No suffering today, thank you very much.”

Yet - what if indeed we just sat with the suffering, fully felt the emotion?* What if we held both the suck of it as well as the curiosity of what new awareness we can gain?  

By no means do we attempt to “silver line” the loss, change, or grief. In fact, it’s critical that we truly see and accept reality. Yes, it stinks that the promotion didn’t come through. Yes, it’s sad to know your favorite boss is leaving your organization for another job. Yet as one of our colleagues always says: “Grief is transformational.” Both (or multiple!) things can be true. It’s a classic Both/And scenario - we can be both sad and heartbroken AND be curious as to what experience we are being called to walk through. That indeed is the journey of the brave leader.  

Life is going to life. That much we know. It’s our reaction to those moments that define our way through - both acknowledging and embracing the sad, as well as holding the curiosity and knowledge of deeper awareness.

May you always see the light in the darkest of times, and may challenging times -while honored and acknowledged - turn into powerful transformation. 

*If sitting with the emotion is too difficult and/or related to trauma, please consult a qualified mental health professional.