How to mitigate loneliness in times of change

Imagine you have become a supervisor for the first time. Perhaps you are a new parent, navigating a new paradigm of work/life integration. You could be going through a divorce, a merger at work, or layoffs. You might be managing a new division or leading a new initiative. A common thread of these disparate events?  They all involve elements of change.   

Like grief, the podcast mentioned above highlights that change is fundamentally about loss. Even changes considered positive involve some loss, the “Ending” as William Bridges describes it. We have lost a way of knowing, of being, of problem solving. 

Perhaps we try to problem-solve and fix the change using the same modalities and problem-solving techniques we used previously. We may become frustrated, and isolate when these techniques no longer work. However, new challenges necessitate new problem-solving and outcome creation. They also require fresh input and possibilities.  

Problem-solving, creative outcomes, meaning-making, and healing from changes - especially those deemed less positive - can be exponential in community.  Like grief, we weren’t meant to hold all the problem-solving, heartache, and pain ourselves. Our evolutionary biology in fact helped us to be here on this planet by involving others in our tribes and communities to help through change.

So why do we go it alone? Perhaps it’s the Western theory of self-sufficiency, “pull up your bootstraps, you can do this on your own.” Perhaps it’s how we are raised, or what our culture applauds. Maybe we don’t know of a community that can support us. Whatever the change is you are experiencing - guaranteed there are others who are experiencing something similar, or can hold empathy and support even if not. 

From the moment we are born, we relied on others. Let us explore the possibility of existing or new community as you navigate your current change(s). Ask for support. Seek out resources, groups, or others who have navigated this before you.  Allow your next evolution to emerge - in community.